


Happy Endings

by diane_mckay



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-27
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-16 09:10:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/860425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diane_mckay/pseuds/diane_mckay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek and Stiles meet.<br/>What happens next?</p>
<p>A story about Happy Endings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Endings

**Author's Note:**

> This short story is based on the the work of Margaret Atwood "Happy Endings". As I read the story, I found myself wondering what it would be like if I replaced the characters with Teen Wolf. Turned out, it was a little bit cracky. Which was kind of Atwood's point, in that plot alone does not make for a great story. However, I did find it rather fun and interesting thinking about the various happy endings that could be told about Stiles and Derek. And so I decided to share. Please don't take this too seriously, as it is not intended that way. At all.
> 
> Warnings included at the end.

Derek and Stiles meet.  
What happens next?

  


A. Derek and Stiles fall in love and get married. Stiles's father approves and Scott is okay with it. They both have worthwhile jobs they find stimulating and challenging. Derek takes a job as a deputy working for Stiles's father while Stiles attends college. When Stiles graduates, they rebuild the Hale house after reclaiming it from the county with no difficulties. Eventually they decide to hire a surrogate from a neighboring pack, they have two children, each fathering one, although it makes no difference as they love them both equally. The children turn out well. Derek and Stiles have a stimulating sex life in which they top equally. The pack is close and no longer has problems with hunters or any other supernatural enemies. They go on vacation to New York. They retire and Derek passes the Alpha status to their daughter. They both develop hobbies they find stimulating and challenging. Eventually they die and are buried between Stiles's parents and the Hale family plot. This is the end of the story.

  


B. Stiles falls in love with Derek but Derek doesn't fall in love with Stiles. He merely uses his body to sate his lust and confirm his status as the Alpha. Derek comes over to Stiles's house twice a week while the Sheriff is on duty. Stiles cooks him dinner, Derek tells him they can't eat out because Stiles is still underage and his father wouldn't approve. After Derek's eaten his steak, it it usually steak but sometimes it is chicken and Stiles saves a plate for his dad, Derek fucks Stiles and after that he falls asleep. Stiles does the dishes so he won't give his dad a reason to question who ate with him. He puts on clean clothes but doesn't wash up because he wants Derek to smell the two of them together but when Derek wakes up he doesn't even notice, he puts on his pants and his henley and his leather jacket and his shoes, the reverse order from the one in which he took them off. Derek doesn't take off Stiles's clothes, he takes them off himself acting as if he's desperate for it every time, not because he likes the sex exactly, he still doesn't know if he's bisexual or homosexual or somewhere on the large spectrum of asexuality, but he wants Derek to think he does because if they do it often enough surely Derek'll get used to him, he'll come to depend on Stiles and Stiles will really be a part of the pack and maybe someday they will be mates but Derek goes out the window without so much as a good night and three days later he turns up ten minutes after the Sheriff pulls out of the driveway and they do the whole thing over again.  


Stiles gets run down by trying to keep up with the pack and doing research and preparing dinner every night just in case Derek comes by. He takes more Adderall than he should and gets detention when he can't stop tapping his pen in physics. People begin to notice and Stiles lies to his dad about why his prescription needs to be refilled earlier, saying he forgot he'd already taken it a few days because he's been so busy with lacrosse and his Econ project. Really, Stiles has been so tired after Derek fucked him, he'd had to take another in order to get the research done in the sirens that were occupying the lake and had caused two drownings this Spring. Scott says he can smell Derek on him and Isaac avoids looking at him when he says Stiles smells like tears. Scott tells him Derek is a psycho, controlling, that he isn't good enough for Stiles but Stiles can't believe. Derek, he thinks, is broken from the death of his family but Stiles understands him. Someday, Derek will be better with Stiles's help but only if people stop leaving him. Stiles understands Derek and one day he'll be a great Alpha. 

One evening, Derek complains about the food. He has never complained about the food before, he usually doesn't talk at all. Stiles is hurt.  


Isaac tries not to get involved but he can't meet Stiles's eyes when he tells him Derek took a woman to a restaurant, and it was Miss Blake. It's not even Miss Blake that gets to Stiles, it's not the fact that she's a woman, or Stiles's teacher. It the restaurant. Derek has never taken Stiles to a restaurant, not even a drive thru when Stiles was craving curly fries after an all night stakeout of a new group of hunters. Derek has never taken Stiles anyway besides some place that put his life in danger. Stiles collects all his Adderall and sleeping pills and leftover pain pills from when he cracked his rib after tripping over a root in the Preserve running while running from a feral omega. He takes them with a half a bottle of his dad's whiskey. You can see what kind of son he is when he fails to hide the bottle. He texts a message to Derek. He hopes Derek will discover him and get him to the hospital in time and apologise and Derek can meet his dad properly. Or maybe Derek will finally give him the bite and Stiles will be a werewolf and really be a part of the pack but Derek doesn't show up and Stiles dies. 

Derek marries Jennifer Blake and everything continues as in A with little variation.

  


C. Derek is eight years older but he still falls in love with Stiles despite being worried about being like Kate Argent. Stiles is 17 and feels sorry for Derek because Derek has trust issues from Kate Argent sleeping with him and then burning his family alive and ten his psycho uncle waking up from a coma and killing his sister, so he can't keep a pack together to save his life. Also, Stiles feels guilty about desecrating Laura Hale's grave and then accusing Derek of her murder. So Stiles sleeps with him even though he's not in love with him. He's still in love with Lydia who is still recovering from the fact that werewolves exist at all and that a creepy psycho dead one haunted her and used he mind to resurrect himself as well as Jackson's death and his resurrection and subsequent leaving. So she isn't ready to start a relationship although they are working on the friendship.  


Derek on the other hand is regretting the relationship he's already in because he wants to be with Stiles. The Alpha pack has left and the pack is rebuilding but Stiles isn't impressed by this, he's impressed by Lydia and her math and her strawberry blonde hair. But Lydia and Stiles are just becoming friends and she's still learning how to live a life where she doesn't have to hide her intelligence. Stiles has never been able to hide anything about himself besides his real name, including his attraction to Derek so in the meantime Stiles spends Monday evenings with Derek. Mondays are the only days Derek can get away. Derek is dating Jennifer Blake who recently moved in with him and Isaac and Cora enjoy having a mother figure around. They are in the process of rebuilding his family home and they both have hobbies they find stimulating and challenging.  


Derek tells Stiles how important he is to him and the pack but he can't leave Jennifer because he's made a commitment. He goes on about this more than necessary and Stiles finds himself missing the silent and taciturn yet seriously hot Derek Hale but werewolves have a quick refractory perios and Stiles enjoys not being a virgin and this prevents his dick from chafing due to personal happy time so it all balances out. Plus Derek's still got abs and arm muscles for days.  


One day Lydia breezes into Stiles's room with her strawberry blonde hair arranged perfectly and Lydia and Stiles begin to talk about everything that's gone on in the last year and end with Lydia running her hand through Stiles's now longer hair, commenting that it suits him and then they climb into bed. Along comes Derek who is used to sliding open Stiles's bedroom window on Monday nights. He finds Stiles and Lydia entwined and asleep, Stiles's scent mingled with Lydia's with only the barest traces of Derek from last week. Derek's not in a position to be jealous, considering Jennifer, but he's overcome with despair. Derek's eyes bleed Alpha red and he can feel his claws extending even though his hands are clenched, so there is blood dripping down onto Stiles's floor and Lydia's discarded dress and Stiles's favorite red hoodie. 

For the first time in ten years, Derek loses control and kills the two teenagers. Scott hears Derek's howl of grief as he comes back to himself and investigating, Scott comes across the dead body of his best friend and the girl Stiles loved. Derek allows Scott to kill him, ripping out Derek's throat and ending his mournful whimpers. Scott becomes the Alpha and with Deaton's help, makes up a lie about wolfsbane and the full moon to break the news to Jennifer and the pack although he tells Allison the truth and they unite over their grief for their dead friends. Jennifer, after a suitable period of mourning and seeing Isaac and Cora and Scott and Allison off to college, begins to date Chris Argent who understands the supernatural but is no longer a part of it. They marry and everything continues as in A but with different names.

  


D. Chris and Jennifer have no problems. They get along exceptionally well and Jennifer no longer stays at school late into the night on Mondays to grade papers. But Beacon Hills still attracts the supernatural and strange event occur in town causing property values to drop, so they can't move out of town yet to be with Allison and the others near their college. The rest of the story is about what supernatural villain of the week has invaded the town and how Jennifer and Chris fight it. They win, although the high school is blown up but Jennifer and Chris are strong and virtuous. Finally, they look over the rubble of the high school and clasp hands. Grateful to be alive, they take a loss on the house and move out of town, but the Argent gun business is doing well so they continue on as in A.

  


E. Yes, but Chris is still a hunter even if retires. The rest of the story is about how understanding and beautiful they are until Chris dies fighting a rogue pack on his own, protecting a pregnant Allison. Jennifer devotes herself to supernatural research for the pack, developing the bestiary where Stiles and Lydia left off until the end of A. If you like, it can be "Jennifer" "incubus" "guilty and confused" and "cooking".

  


F. If you think this is all too ordinary, make Derek a lawyer and Stiles his paralegal and see how pornographic it gets. Remember, this is California. You'll still end up with A because the Supreme Court just ruled in favor of gay marriage. 

  


But don't be fooled. All of this ends the same.  
 _Derek and Stiles die. Stiles and Derek die._  
Now let's start from the beginning.  
 _Stiles and Derek meet._ Why?

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings:  
> substance abuse including prescription medication and alcohol  
> suicide  
> death of major characters  
> mentions of underage sexual situations  
> murder  
> references to blowing up a high school because I may have watched a lot of Buffy  
> infidelity  
> pretty much lacks any Happy Endings


End file.
